Wednesday, 6 April 2011

internet dating - a eulogy

To be completely and 100% honest, I have been involved in some form of internet dating since the age of 17.  Blackpeeps, MSN and Yahoo messenger, Face-pic, Hi5, Myspace and even POF.  I am currently single and I have never been in a relationship with a guy I have met on-line.  I have made a couple good friends who I am very grateful to have in my life, and I have made some stupid mistakes that lead me to count myself lucky that I am not one of any number of negative statistics.  

What was my stupidest moment?  

On meeting The DJ for the first time in person (after we had been talking on and off for about a year), I jumped into his car (no note of the registration number, no destination to text to a well meaning friend) late at night and was whisked to his home in that borough that claims to be part of South London.  Luckily I was wined and dined and returned home at my request.  He was a perfect gentleman.  The outcome could so easily have been very different.

My excuse:
Restricted childhoods create reckless individuals unable to adequately process risk - read "book smart, street stupid".

My corroborating evidence:
The vast number of Asian girls who go into halls in the first year of university and lose their damn minds to cheap alcohol (racial stereotyping? yes - but my blog, my rules!)

Anyway so I've come to the conclusion (after 8 years - I am really THAT slow) that internet dating does not work for me.  At ALL!

I just can't take it seriously.  I can't get excited about being written to by a profile picture and some well meaning text.  Trusting someone to accurately describe themselves online is like trusting homeopaths to put an accurate description of the contents of their remedy on the jar (read - placebo).  

The men are cheesy.   Many lack shame.  I have been messaged on more than one occasion by men older than my (grand)dad.  They tend to tell me that age is nothing but a number.  I tend to block them.

My flighty Gemini tendencies mean I get excited when a guy with hot pictures messages me, but then illiteracy and text speak turns me right off.  Is it too much to ask for, a sexy guy that reads? That knows that slang isn't appropriate for all situations? 

Ah who am I kidding, He could be Morris Chestnut with a personal library (*drools*, *daydreams about the many ways Morris and I would enjoy that library*, *drools some more*, *regains focus*, *ahem*) if the chemistry, physical attraction and compatibility aren't there then what's the point? And those are the things that I find impossible to judge online.  Which means I usually don't give a damn about meeting up.  Which generally defeats the entire purpose.

So on that note I pledge my allegiance to traditional face-to-face methods of meeting and greeting, and hereby declare my current POF page closed until further notice.  Internet dating will only be reattempted:

1) If my biological clock ever makes an appearance
2) If the pickings in Banbury are slim-to-none
3) If I get bored while studying and require some help with my procrastination.


1 comment:

  1. Not sure why my comment (posted this afternoon isn't showing up) but internet dating has it's pros and cons. When it's good it's really good. Trust me I know.