Thursday, 23 April 2009

thief of time

I hate my time being wasted.

What I hate even more is my time being wasted when I'm ill, in pain or otherwise having a crappy day, a day like Tuesday, when my stomach felt like Tyson was punching it repeatedly.

(I know you can see where this is going...)

I made plans to see a friend on Tuesday night for drinks. I use the term friend loosely, since the friendship is a new thing. We were together on and off for a year and a half and then didn't talk for over a year. Now we have been trial running friendship for 6 months. *backstory over*

The plan was that I would drive up to Rainham (a pretty significant distance from my house), pick him up and we'd go out for drinks (non-alcoholic for me obviously - don't drink and drive!). I spoke to him at 6pm and told him that I was about to drop something off at my girl's house and I'd be at his for 8.30pm.

"That's cool"

My girl Nadia had just come back from NYC and I had her birthday present from a week before she left (delayed - I know), so we talked, caught jokes and ate sweet popcorn which she must have missed while being in the States since they prefer to drench popcorn in fat and destroy their arteries rather than drench it in sugar and ruin those perfect teeth!

Anyway I digress, before I left Nadia's I called my friend and he didn't pick up, so I texted to let him know that I was on my way.

So why is it that 10minutes later I pulled up outside his house and his car wasn't in the drive? I called again, because being a friend, he wouldn't go far when he knew I was coming over, right?



After 15 minutes of hanging around I finally heard from him,

He was in north london and wasn't going to be back for at least an hour


"Are you going to wait for me?"


I really hope he was joking, because after repressing some choice expletives I hung up and drove home. A warning to all - driving home angry, is just as distracting as driving tired, or maybe even drunk, and isn't recommended.

I still don't really know exactly what happened, I was a little too heated to discuss it at the time and I haven't heard from him since (I rarely get angry, but apparently can inspire fear when I do - a useful skill). I mean was there some kind of miscommunication? Was there an emergency in North London? And as much as I would like one of these reasons to apply I know they don't. If you know that you are due to meet someone at a particular time, any changes that will affect those plans warrant a text message to warn the other party. It's common courtesy, it wasn't extended to me on Tuesday, and it serves as a reminder for why the ex is an ex.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

kanye is a gay fish?

I know I'm so late with this.

But it is the perfect antidote to the ringa roses foolishness below:


N.B. There is an ad break at 2:08 when the screen goes blank - just keep watching...

ringa roses skank

I originally wanted to write about what an amazing Saturday I had. And brag about the fact that I managed to get through it on less than 2 hours sleep! (yay me!)

But my joy was rudely cut short.

Now Saturday was FABULOUS so you know it took some serious ridiculosity to stamp all over my joy,

This is the reason:

Watch it.

No seriously you actually have to watch it to understand.

Eva's list of issues:
  3. This video is proof to the indie market that small budgets do not equal profundity. This must have cost a tenner to make, and that includes cast and crew lunches.
  4. The dance is an amalgamation of tribal and migraine skanks with a sprinking of Hskat* in the request to get down low - Eva appreciates originality.
  5. The song is crap - Eva is not a fan of the funky.
(I don't make a habit of swearing, I think that it shows a lack of imagination and a poor vocabulary, but sometimes, SOMETIMES, there's nothing else to say.)

Maybe this depresses me so much because of the copyright infringement. My younger cousins and I invented this dance months ago, along with the Incy Wincy Spider skank (copyright 2009) and the Twinkling Star skank (copyright 2009)!

Knew I should have put that video on youtube (grrr)

*pronouced "haitch-skat" (Heads shoulders knees and toes)

Friday, 17 April 2009

are you kidding me??

TV Execs must be grasping at straws if this is the best they could come up with.

Set The Video: My Life As An Animal, BBC Three, Thursday 16 April, 9pm


I can't quite make out whether this is going to be like watching the televisual equivalent of liquid poo or one the most geniusy things I will ever see in my life. I'm previewing My Life As An Animal because I see it as public duty - if you tune into BBC Three on Thursday night and see human being crawling about on all fours eating dog food you may think someone has spike your tea with some of the most powerful LSD that humanind has ever made, so you definitely need to be warned.

The series itslef sees eight 'celebrities' take part in a reality series and that is being badged, by the channel funnily enough, as an "innovative and bold" experiment. In it, these slebs will try and learn more about animals by sleeping, eating and (trying to) communicate with horses, dogs, pigs, penguins and seals.

Even as I write this I'm struggling not to laugh out loud. Surely it's no more so an important and bold social experiment than Big Brother (and we all know what that is really).

But let's take this seriously just for a second. The volunteers will closely observe the animals to help inform their own behaviour. Then its in with the animals - gaining a place within the strict hierarchy of thoroughbred stallions, winning the trust of a pack of foxhounds, and learning about pigs and their piglets.

And that's where this first episode starts, with pigs. Actor Richard Da Costa and Five Live's Lynsey Hipgrave leave their homes, friends and family behind to live as pigs for four days.

Complete and utter madhouse. Half of me wants to shoot the person who came up for this for finding another new low TV can sink to, but the other half... is curious.

From TV Scoop

I'm not curious, I JUST want to shoot whoever thought of this, and whoever okayed it, and whoever researched it, and whoever else is invoved! Reality TV is the fifth horseman of the apocolypse.

well you're entitled to your opinion....

... you're damn right I am!

And for the record, that entitlement doesn't need to be voiced by you! It really gets to me when people state that I'm entitled to my opinion, because what they really mean is, "I'm right, you're wrong and I can't be bothered to debate this with you like an adult". If you truly believed that we were both as entitled to our opinions, it would go without saying.

I've noticed this patronising phrase coming up recently when I discuss religious/ spiritual topics with religious people.

For the record - when it comes to God I am conflicted. My spiritual side whole-heartedly believes in a Being (with a capital ~B), capable of infinite love and forgiveness. My logical side sees the 10 o/c news and scoffs at the beliefs of the spiritual side.

To further complicate matters I feel like the word "spiritual" sounds ridiculously pretentious, but I can't think of another so that is what we'll be using.

Anyway - the facebook status that sparked debate was mine:

Eva doesn't believe in hell, except that which we create for ourselves here on earth. She doesn't believe in the devil either, human nature is devious enough.

A pretty innocuous statement really, based on the fact that if you believe in a being of infinite forgiveness, how could that being then condemn you to an eternity of torment - something doesn't add up!

And in the absence of proof for or against the existance of this being that epitomises evil (Devil) it's pretty easy to choose against.

Think about it. If the devil does exist - but I live a good life - his/ her/ its existence doesn't really affect me. I attribute the bad things that happen to me as;

  • bad luck,
  • random chance (the crap has to hit somebody)
  • another human's issues (psychopathic tendencies, anger etc)
and react accordingly.

Try taking personal responsibility for the crap that happens to you!

If you're single and you don't want to be, maybe you're doing something wrong
If you keep attracting wastemen/ women, maybe you're doing something wrong
If you're stuck in a dead end job, maybe your lazy ass is doing something wrong (ok scratch that one, its a recession - times are hard)

If the devil doesn't exist and I live a good life - I attribute the bad aspects of my life to the same things - except I now walk with an air of smug righteousness - obnoxious, i know - lol!

In a Seattle debate about the existence of the devil, Deepak Chopra had this to say

"Healthy people do not have any need for Satan. Healthy people need to confront their own issues, understand themselves and move towards the direction of compassion, creativity, understanding, context, insight, inspiration, revelation and understanding that we are part of an ineffable mystery. …So I would say be done with Satan and confront your own issues."
Exactly what I wanted to say - with added eloquence and wisdom!

To be honest, my rage was because I was unable to state this opinion without someone on the highest of high horses leaving me a facebook message telling me that I was wrong. I'm humble enough to agree that that may be the case, I'm not omniscient. Can you admit the same?

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
- Aristotle

Thursday, 16 April 2009

let he who is without sin...

This woman should be the poster child for the new Safe Sex campaign. Durex should recruit her and plaster her face on billboards across the country.

Read here how a pretty 26 year old singer had unprotected sex with 3 men, knowing that she was HIV+.

Now she has been arrested and charged with grievous bodily harm. But is she guilty?

There's is no doubt that HIV is a debilitating virus. After the initial infection there is a latency period which can last anything up to 20 years during which an infected person can live a pretty normal life. But eventually the immune system is destroyed because the lymphocyte (a type of white blood cell) population is depleted. Most HIV infected people develop AIDS. The weakened immune system leads them to contract oppurtunistic infections and cancers such as Cytomegalovirus or Kaposi's sarcoma (did you see Philadelphia? yeah - that) - you'd rarely see these in healthy individuals.

Sex with Nadja (for that is the singer's name) may have given these guys a long, drawn out death certificate (much like tobacco companies do, everyday - I digress) but where is the personal responsibility of these men considered? Why were they not concerned enough with their own health to wrap up and strap up? Unprotected sex is like playing russian roulette and unfortunately these guys got the bullet.

For Nadja to be charged with GBH a jury needs to prove that she acted with malicious intent. The BBC story doesn't really clarify if this is the case. If this was an "I hate men" campaign on her part, then throw away the key! But please bear in mind the ability of good sex to cloud sanity and good judgement. In the heat of the moment, protection is often forgotten - it has happened to everyone! But for Nadja and the guys the consequences were a little more severe.

Edit: Yes I am aware that this woman is completely in the wrong, don't read me as condoning her actions. I am a huge fan of personal responsibility and I feel it's being lost in modern culture and replaced by blame culture, so here is an alternate view...

Maybe this story is motivation to judge if our own practices are healthy:

When was the last time you got a full sexual health MOT?

Do you always wear some kind of barrier protection method when you have sex?

late night/ early morning ramblings

Why am I awake and coherent at 3am?

I went to see a late night showing of Fast & Furious at the vast, UFO shaped monstrosity on the Greenwich peninsula.

A perfect example of why your mother told you not to judge a book by it's cover, inside is FAB-U-LOUS! Restaurants, bars, clubs, exhibition centres, music arenas AND a cinema with a screen of a size that defies description (Screen 11* - if you don't know, you need to!)

When it comes to shoot-em-up, chase-em-down films I'm a cynic. I go in with the lowest of low expectations and from there the only way is up:

A discernable plot? - cool
A reasonable, straightforward and engaging plot? - bonus baby!

Coherent dialogue? - nice
Interesting and character appropriate dialogue? - well jeez - well lucky ol' me, bonus again!

I went into Fast & Furious expecting remedial acting of a basic script but I was pleasently surprised.

I also began to understand the Vin Diesel man-crush. Vin Diesel is the guy that the manly men want to be (and womanly women want to have lol).

He's not the effeminate shiny bodied metrosexual male model, with muscles like a slab of chocolate, and just as useless. Vin has muscles that look functional, instead of pretty boy aesthetic, responds in grunts and growled words, and wraps it up with a teddybear smile.

Unfortunately his real name is Mark Sinclair - nobody's perfect.

But the return of testosterone filled men? I'm enamoured.

Actually starting to feel tired now...

[*alledgedly the largest in London at 22metres wide]

hair nirvana

A timely example of the "it's just hair" nirvana I'm aiming to reach.

It looks like she had half a britney breakdown! *pause*

To be honest she has such a pretty face she could pull off a lime green mohawk, but I still admire the innovation.

Be bold, be courageous, ladies (and gents)...


Tuesday, 14 April 2009

attempt number...

The internet is littered with my failed attempts at blogging.

I have blogspotted, wordpressed (for shame!) and even hosted at a secret domain name which can only be revealed under duress.

I tried to join the natural black haircare movement, only to find that it is rife with hairtype clashes (kinkies vs curlies and cnapps fighting all by themselves) and product worship. But since I'm on my way to that "it's just hair" nirvana that all naturals aim to reach, I think blogging about my body's waste keratin is a snooze.

I tried to blog about dentistry - since we are severely under- and misrepresented...

But teeth are never going to set the world alight, and after a full day of studying, a girl could do with a break.

So I guess this serves as a warning, the path of this blog is as yet undefined... follow at your peril.