Thursday, 10 December 2009

nobody is awake to talk me through this



I was surfing randomly - as I do, and I came across a USA agony aunt page from a couple of weeks ago called Ask Amy.  Ask Amy is syndicated and appears in news papers all over the country, but her advice in the Chicago Tribune has people up in arms.

Read here

In summary a girl wrote in asking if she had been raped.  She was drunk at a party in a fraternity house (read drunk college boys' accomodation) and accompanied a guy to his room where she told him that she didn't want to have sex repeatedly.  He acknowledged this, but then proceeded to have sex anyway and she attributes her alcohol induced impaired judgement for being unable to realise what was happening before it happened.

Amy replies indicates that she believes that the girl has been raped.  But she doesn't state it explicitly.  What she does emphasise is the girls poor judgement in being drunk in a frat house and going to the guy's room.

Now Amy is not particularly supportive, comforting or even empathetic.  You know the kind of qualities that you'd hope to find in someone that pedals advice for a living. 

But my gut feeling is that she is right.

What is troubling me is that I have recently been made aware that agreeing with Amy makes me a "rape apologist", I am in fact "criminalising the victim".

In my head it seems so simple.  Two separate but conchordant (did I make that word up?) ideas existing simultaneously and offering no contradiction.

Idea 1

A victim of rape is not to blame for being raped.  Yes even the girl, drunk to the point of incoherency, clambering into the back of an unlicensed mini cab alone at 4am (put your judgements aside now), it is not her fault.  The blame for rape lies solely with the perpetrator's inability to hear and comprehend that "no means no", their need for power and control, their complete disregard for the autonomy of another human being.


Idea 2

There are things that you can do to to decrease your risk of being raped


This is the idea that has Chicagoans up in arms, because it seems that if there are things that can be done to minimise your risk, and you choose not to do those things, then by not doing them you have increased your risk, henceforth, ergo and thus some of the blame rests with you.

Yes?

NO

Look, a woman has the right to and should be able to parade down the high street in a bikini at 3am without being raped.  That doesn't make it an intelligent thing to do because that is not the utopia in which we live.  We live in a society where rape happens, unfortunately with increasing regularity.  Women (and men) PEOPLE should be taught that nobody has the right to lay hands on them if they don't desire it.  But they should also be taught that excessive alcohol drinking lowers their inhibitions and makes them less in control of themselves, that dark alleys have the potential to hold numerous predators, and that sometimes your body can be saying yes even when your mouth is saying no*.

Ahh that last one was hard to type - but be real - it happens - and should be addressed.


So are these ideas more contradictory than they seem? Am I missing something really obvious?



*Seriously though, if you hear a "no", you better get up and go home, whatever else may be happening, protect yourself from being the guy in this scenario.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

rocks




A wise man once said:

"when people throw rocks at you you can do one of two things.  You can throw rocks back at them or you can use each rock and build your castle"

OK so the wise man was less Confuscious and more ol' green eyes himself, Mr Terrence Howard.

Don't judge the source.

Sometimes people need words to live by and these are as good as any other.  Actually they're a damn sight better than the con artist Rhonda Byrnes making millions from sharing "The Secret" of positive thinking.

Currently people are throwing rocks.  Not big 'wacky races' style rocks.  More like pebbles.  Small pebbles.  Sand if you will.  Don't underestimate the irritant properties of sand, when it is found in unfortunate places like swimming costumes or eyes it can burn like a...



... hot thing.

But throwing this sand back at these people, does nothing for me except make my arms tired (poor upper body strength you see).  So I need to get on building my castle (see above).

WTH?

"Have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire"

Now there's a proposition

And all I have to do is...

...hold on

...what now?


And you wonder why I can't stand listening to the radio.

I think that it is fair to say that which is popular is a reflection of the society that elevated it.

Apocalypse now?

Monday, 30 November 2009

fabulosity

So much to say and so little time.

  • I read Precious (Push) and watched Good Hair and both inspired tonnes of thought. 
  • I saw Corinne Bailey Rae's comeback gig at the tabernacle which has received rave reviews - one of them by me since me and my girl D had our comments featured in the Observer review section - woop!  Unfortunately the pictures were beyond awful so we kept that quiet. 
  • I watched Lenny Henry in Othello and was pleasantly surprised by his skill.  Then a few hours later I was disappointed by his dismissal
  • I seriously looked into places I can go and live after studying is done.  Requirements include heat, but no bugs, english speaking (french at a stretch), tax-free OR somewhere I can do some good.
  • I got my exam results back and totally surpassed my wildest expectations.  

Each of these should be a stand alone post - but I have no tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime - arrrgh!

My obnoxious self centred narssicism has raised it's ugly head - 5/7 sentences start with an "I" and I couldn't care less.

ME, ME, ME gaddammit!!

Everybody needs a day of self love

Monday, 23 November 2009

times are hard!


Gold bullion is forever...throw your gold in sky if you feel the vibe!


I know you've seen them

Those TV ads where groomed men speak in capital letters:

"SELL YOUR GOLD, WE'LL BUY YOUR GOLD FOR CASH CASH CASH SELL SELL SELL SELL AAARAGH!!!"

Usually I'd ignore these men for the hype merchants they are, and google advises that this is the best option since a lot of the www.cashmygold. com type domains have scam-like tendencies.

However a few months ago LondonDiva wrote about selling her gold via a more subtle website, and since times are hard I've decided to follow in her footsteps.  I'm hoping for about 300 squid - which will go towards replacing my malfunctioning lambda probe (but that's another story).

Will be updating...

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

today i... (pt 2)

 Today I news surfed on the crackberry on the train home:




FINALLY, Egypt is taking back its stuff! The staff at the Egyptian museum in Cairo want the Rosetta Stone back - can you believe that they have a fake version?

I wonder how the British Museum will respond to their request.

I love the peace and serenity of the British Museum.  I love the Bloomsbury area of London that it resides in.  I love that there is a fantastic comic book store right outside the British museum where I go to reward myself for my intellectual and cultural endeavours.

I do not love that my favourite area of the museum is signposted "Egypt and Africa".  Would they like a map? A globe?  A slap upside the head maybe?  I'm sick of Egypt being treated as a culturally distinct area, seperate from the rest of Africa.  It seems that this is the only way that the world can acknowledge the advanced nature of a civilistation that was ancient to the ancient greeks and romans!  Damn shame that it was on the same continent those black folk came from.

**rant over**




This one was sent to me by a fellow dental student avoiding revision as something we can aspire to when we qualify.  To paraphrase - a scottish MP (Alex) has got himself into a  bit of trouble after treating his dentist and his wife to a £1,400 meal and VIP tickets to a pop concert event on the taxpayer's dime.

So as an occasional tax payer I am incensed, but on the other hand, Alex had just had root canal treatment the week before.  Unless you have felt the hot throbbing ache of an infected tooth you may not understand the gratitude that some patients feel to their dentists post treatment. Next time hopefully that gratitude will come from his own pocket.


Back to revision - seriously this time

almost there...

Thanks to God, Allah, Krishna, Jehovah, Thor, Ra, Yemaya, The Flying Spaghetti Monster and/ or ___insert your deity of choice___

I'm almost through exam season.

Technically I should be going over notes for the last paper tomorrow - but I'm taking a break to eat Maryland cookies (yum) and catch up on my favourite blogs.

I haven't left my house to do something enjoyable for weeks.  Eva, the eternal homebody is sick of her home, her room and her bed - I never thought that it could happen!

Exam season has been good to me so far.  With no wish to tempt fate, so far things are progressing adequately. 


Not well?

Not well by any stretch of the imagination.  If I had been prepared to put in the necessary work, a distinction would have been imminent.  At the moment I'm hoping for a merit, I think I've passed, I think.  The thinking is driving me nuts.  But it's almost over!

In other news, the chef from one of the best Caribbean restaurants in London (if not the whole of the UK) has moved and opened his own restaurant in Canary Wharf.

Check it out here.  This is where we'll be wining and dining Mum for her birthday next weekend and she has no idea.  If you check out the restaurant you'll realise that its naming was an exercise in vanity.  But believe me when I tell you that this guy's ego deserved to be stroked.  I went to his restaurant in Brick Lane for my birthday and never wanted to leave. 

Perfect cocktails and perfect food

My only peeve was that the menu was full of typos (grammar nazi reporting for service), but hopefully that has been rectified.  If anyone has already tried this restaurant let me know what you thought.

Back to revision... wish me luck

Saturday, 7 November 2009

i do stupid things

that's it - that's all i have to say - i do stupid things and tonight I did another one.  boyyyy i'll regret this in the morning...

Thursday, 5 November 2009

first post of November




Hmm so I think we can all agree that I am failing in my mission to keep this current and up to date.

HOWEVER

I would like to place the blame firmly at the door of the bitch-ass exams that are taking place next week, revision for which has absolutely destroyed any social schedule I may have had.  I'm not ready yet, but for some reason  The Fear has yet to hit me.  I'm not sure if you know about The Fear.  It's that moment prior to exams that halts you in your casual slow rolling steps, and makes you think "SH***********T I have exams in ___ days/ weeks" (please fill as appropriate).  The Fear usually causes that final burst of intense revision that gets you through the exams.

My exams are next week.

I have yet to feel The Fear.

I'm a little concerned.  Usually it kicks in about a week before.  But I have 3 days until exam number 1 and so far I'm feeling a little complacent.  Complacent people fails exams.  Retakes are in January - something to look forward to over X-mas I guess.


This is all very pessimistic - not like me at all.

To make myself feel better I have started the list of things I can do once revision is over:
  1. I've booked VIP tickets for screen 11 at the odeon to watch the exploitation flick This is it - I missed out on the concert, I want to see what my £80+ would have got me.  Don't think I lack sentimentality, MJ's death was tragic (and possibly homicide - that doctor is going to get shanked in jail).  But this film has nothing to do with missing Michael and everything to do with AEG recouping their huge financial losses.  So in the spirit of exploitation I will be sitting in VIP (extra money to sit on a balcony). 
     
  2. Learn French (again)  I have started and stopped and restarted and given up and now I'm starting again.  And this time the language of romance will stick.  I want to have dreams in french and watch La Haine without the subtitles.  (incidently, some1 still has that DVD and at some point I want it back).  To be honest I want to serenade Thierry Henry in his native language - at least I'm honest about my motives.
     
  3. Learn Guitar.  This one was inspired by the return of Mrs Bailey Rae - whom I love and admire massively (and who I will be seeing on 23rd November at an intimate sold out gig at the Tabernacle - *excitement*!).  But I've wanted to learn an instrument for ages.  When it comes to music I'm a jack of all trades but master of none.  I have a problem sticking with stuff - a typical gemini trait if you're into that stuff.  So I hope that by the time I graduate I will be an insoucient french speaking, guitar playing, natty dreaded, salsa dancing dentist.
     
  4. SALSA!  I've missed you my old friend.  Back to friday nights at Bar Salsa is a must.  I also want to check out the moves of the city boys since they're holding classes in Abacus now on Mondays.  It could be interesting.  I hope I don't bump into Babyface though.  It's where I met him and I know he likes to frequent it for after work drinks.  

  5. Study. Yeah I know this one is a little counter-productive (taking my mind off work with more work)  But I actually enjoy studying.  I started some reseach before revision hit that will make my academic CV pop, so I should probably finish it at some point before I have to start applying.
    Yeah thats pretty much it - life starts again on 12th November - and I may even blog some more too!   YAY - I actually do feel better.

    Back to revision

    Monday, 26 October 2009

    sick sad world

    When it comes to humanity I like to think that there is very little that will shock me.  I watch the news and have to numb myself to the suffering because in my current mood (I'm in a funk) it would overwhelm me.  Today I was reading the news on my Crackberry (woop woop) and read something that just left me speechless.

    Check out the link here


    CNN International


    In Summary, a man is currently on trial, for stabbing a pregnant woman, Marwa El-Sherbini, IN A COURTROOM!

    WTF?

    How the hell did that happen?

    Apparently this dysenteric individual was originally in court charged with defamation against Marwa.  She had asked if her son could use the swing which his niece was playing on and he unleashed a torrent of racial and religious abuse.  She sued him and won, but apparently he was able to enter and remain in the courtroom while in possession of a 7 inch knife, with which he stabbed her EIGHTEEN TIMES in front of her 3 year old child.

    I feel physically sick.

    Tuesday, 13 October 2009

    funk

    I'm in a funky mood.

    Not in a good way.

    Not in a migraine skanking kind of way

    I'm feeling moody.  The kind of moody that Lindt chocolate usually helps to alleviate.  But I'm avoiding dairy for the month - for various reasons.

    I've been a bitch to at least 2 people today and been called cold-hearted by one of them in return. He's irrelevent - and slightly insane, but it's still not nice to hear. I wonder if he'll realise that my heart is a furnace, just the exterior is cold and difficult to crack. 

    You know like cadbury's eclairs? LOL yeah I said it.

    I'm just in a mood.  Deepest indigo mood.  If there was a candle in my soul it would be a pinprick in a void.  I'm just grouchy.  I always related with oscar the grouch more than elmo.  Oscar lived in a freaking trash can - of course he was miserable - why would you expect him to be otherwise? Idiot.

    Love you oscar



    Hopefully my mood will lift tomorrow - fingers crossed my loves - I'm going to see the cutie with the dreads in crystal palace, I'm due a retwist.

    Monday, 5 October 2009

    CORINNE IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!

    OMG I love this woman.  I love her.  Her eponymously titled first album was the soundtrack to my life for at least a year and it still gets heavy rotation.

    I will be on the look out for tickets HARD!  I'm sure she'll be doing some gigs real soon.  Any1 gets any info PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!

    As I said on facebook, anyone found to be witholding information will be swiftly disowned

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/oct/04/corinne-bailey-rae-interview

    Saturday, 3 October 2009

    in other news...

    In 2 days it will be 3 months since my locs journey started.  So far I am wishing that I did this YEARS ago. 

    It's so easy!

    Retwisting myself every couple of weeks.  Going to see Strictly Dreadz in Crystal Palace when I'm feeling lazy.  I think they suit me.  I haven't seen any pics with me and my locs in them yet but the mirror seems happy enough.  I am currently having some moisture issues due to not washing my hair as often as I used to, but I might have to start spritzing - fun fun.

    But yes I am a big big fan of this no-nonsense,no-fuss hair.  Long live the dreadz!

    (update in 3 months time)

    salsa!



    I learnt to dance in Cuba. That's the first thing. After 5 weeks of daily lessons 1-on-1 with my cuban teacher (yum!) I was pretty damn good on my feet.

    To begin with, my teacher despaired of me because I couldn't be led, I wanted to dance my way and turn my way and screw whatever his body was saying. It was completely unconscious, but I am naturally stubborn and do tend to think that it is 'my way or the A1'. Nowadays I can be led, but only by a strong lead. If your arms are flimsy and weak then don't even bother, I will just dance by myself next to you and save you the trouble. I think that could work out as a strong relationship metaphor (I'll submit to you if I think you are worthy type of thing) but that's another day.

    So Wednesday night me, the PhD and the Latina went to bar Salsa! (their exclamation not mine) and oh my word, I didn't realise how much I had missed it. The PhD lacks confidence, a couple years ago we went regularly for a few months but we lapsed so today her and her cousin did the beginners class. Me and the latina did the Improvers class and the rust began to show. The class was a fiasco, I was that hopeless one that no1 wants to dance with.

    We had drinks during the second dance classes, treated by a gorgeous short dreadlocked Kenyan guy called Oscar.  He dressed sharp!  However after the latina told him that she was married and that I was some salsa hussy he swiftly disappeared.

    (I'm not a salsa hussy btw, but it is not the first time that I have heard it, I just dance with pretty much anyone and make friends quickly.  I feel like in that environment, where its very much geared to guys asking girls to dance - girls need to not be so picky.  Its a dance not marriage!)

    So dancewise I wasn't feeling the love on Wednesday (boooo) BUT I did accept a hand from a guy the PhD was refusing hard.  Not pretty at all, BUT MY GOD, the man could dance!  I was getting twirled all over the floor, my skirt was flying high (thank God for tights) and I was keeping up with him!  That dance was worth the whole night, I absolutely felt like I was flying!

    More salsa in my life! Check!


    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

    Saturday, 19 September 2009

    listening


    People tend to talk to me.  I don't really invite it, but something about me leads people to believe that I am trustworthy and non-judgemental.  The first is true, the second, if I'm honest, is more dependant on my mood. 

    A few months ago, when I went through one of my miserable loner phases I became sick of being everyone's confidante.  I found that those who would bend my ear nightly, were a lot less receptive to hearing my problems.  I clammed up, stopped answering my phone and sent a big middle finger to the world.

    I'm over it now, I think

    I'm put in a position of trust daily and today is no exception.  And its a special thing, not something I should dismiss lightly. 
    Today made me realise that. 

    Monday, 14 September 2009

    celebrity adoption



    Elton John wants a baby

    Some of you may already be aware of the low opinion I have of the celebrity 'rent a black foreign baby' fad that is going on.  Madonna has been adopting "orphans" with living parents (it's amazing what doors money can open), and... ermm...

    (Angelina and Brad are exempt - beauty opens even more doors than money so with beauty and money, they are pretty much vindicated of any crime!)

    Ok so far only Madonna has really vexed me...

    ANYWAY

    The point was, I was watching that new BBC show, where Ian Wright is flanked by 2 Y-list blondes and they were chatting about Elton John's failed adoption attempt in Ukraine.

    Firstly - Breaking news! Celeb finds orphans in Europe!  Soon they may realise that there are even orphans in the UK...

    ...nah I'm overstretching, my mistake.

    Elton John went to perform in the Ukraine at an orphanage for the Elton John Aids Foundation, and fell in love with baby Lev whom he subsequently tried to adopt.  He was shot down because in Ukraine there are 2 adoptions rules

    Rule 1:  the age difference between an adoptive parent and a child must be 45 years or less

    Rule 2:  foreign citizens who are single have no right to adopt children

    Elton John's civil partnership with David somebodyorother is not recognised in the Ukraine.

    Discriminatory?  Maybe.  I'm assuming that according to this rule, a male-female couple who were unmarried would also be unable to adopt - which levels the playing field unless gay people aren't afforded the opportunity to get married in Ukraine in which case yes, it is discriminatory. 

    But Rule 1 makes perfect sense

    I'm not sure how accurate this is because google is not playing the game tonight but allegedly

    "If you were born in 1950, your life expectancy at birth was only 68 years"

    Elton John is 62.

    Admittedly he will benefit from modern advances in healthcare and having the best health insurance money can buy (money, again!  That's some good stuff!), but it's not really looking good.  Seriously, if 60 year olds were supposed to procreate, breasts would win the fight against gravity, there would be no need for any little blue pills and fertility wouldn't decrease with age (or stop altogether as is the case with most women).

    Elton, how about instead of the Madonna approach (using your fame and fortune to bypass the rules of a country), you fund the orpanage so that Lev can grow up surrounded by his culture and learn to help himself and other orphans like him. 

    How about you give some money to one of those charities that have adverts with music that tugs at your heart strings and lil black and asian kids looking after their 10 siblings as the voiceover tells you that 2p a day could send lil Anita to school.  There is SO MUCH he could do with his power, wealth and influence and if he decides to be unoriginal and flaunt the laws of a country I will be very disappointed.*

    *lol at the irrelevance of my disappointment to Elton*

    Sunday, 13 September 2009

    strictly fabulous

     
    The black hair salon

    The bane of every black woman's existance at least once in their life. For those of us who reject the creamy crack (relaxer) the salon can hold even more horror.

    I'v had my share of negative experiences. A few years ago I wantd my hair pressed and was feeling too lazy to contort myself in such away as to be able to do the back of my head properly. So I went to a salon in Lewisham. I won't name and shame, suffice to say that they call themselves a "natural hair" salon. Natural my back foot! My hair and scalp were burnt so badly in the straightening process that my scalp had scabs and my hair broke terribly in the following weeks. Later I learnt that my hair is naturally anti-heat and breaks in response to it, but that was the worst it had ever been.

    After I realised that frying my hair wasn't a legitmate styling option unless I wanted to be bald by 30 I went back to braids. When I was younger extensions gave me the l'oreal hair flick I had always desired...

    ..."I was WORTH it!!"

    But this second time around, all the excess hair felt heavy and alien. My scalp rebelled with an army of flakes and although I received compliments I didn't feel that they were my due. This was also when I realised the fragility of my hairline. When I undid the braids after a month (ahem, or more) I noticed a hell of a lot of my hairline being removed along with the Kanekalon. To avoid my hairline following the same fate as that of Stevie Wonder's I implored the hairdressers to "tek time", be gentle, don't pull the hair so tight and don't put so much hair on my head. This was when I learnt that hairdressers suffer with a condition known as selective deafness. The prevailing symptom is when, in a salon atmosphere, basic instructions from a client sound like white noise and are ignored. This experience occured in salons across south-east london.

    My response?
    To boycott salons completely - anything that I couldnt do myself I'd just have to live without.

    When I started my locs I knew how to retwist, but for some reason I couldn't find the time to sit down and do it. My twists were floating on a sea of regrowth and I knew something had to be done.

    And here we come to the point of this post. I found a salon the turns stereotype on its head

    Strictly Dreadz in Crystal Palace renewed my faith in the black hair salon.

    See why after the jump

    Caster Semenya



    I am seething over how this girl has been and continues to be ripped apart by the media.

    Read the Guardian's latest here


    She is 18 years old and has been repeatedly and publicly and internationally humiliated to the point where now she has had to go into hiding.

    18! Think back. What would you have done at 18 if you were told that you had internal sex organs of the opposite gender? Now what would you do if your whole family knew? Friends? College/ university? Random people on the street that you have never met having intimate

    Although yesterday I heard that she definitely had Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome*, the IAAF have yet to publish any results regarding Caster's gender. Apparently the Australian press got a lil trigger happy and decided to let the unverified cat out of the bag early.

    South Africa seem to be standing behind their athlete and have threatened "world war 3" should she be banned from competing. I hope that they call for an investigation into the privacy measures (or lack thereof) of the IAAF. They would be well within their rights to do so.

    The IAAF have said that they won't be releasing their conclusions until the board meets in mid-November.



    *What is Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome?

    The default gender setting for developing mammals is female unless there is a high level of testosterone present, usually the result of a Y chromosome. In AIS the person is chromosomally male (XY), but their body's physiology is insensitive to the effects of testosterone, therefore they follow the default gender setting and to all intents and purposes appear female. Most people with this condition don't find out until they have a gynae exam, usually to check out their infertility.



    There are other conditions where chromosomal sex, physiological sex and social sex don't coincide, I think a wiki search is in order...

    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

    What a week...

    I'm lying in bed, my first lie-in of the week and I am enjoying the hell out of it. The past week was my first full week back at uni since the summer and I had forgotten the mind numbing exhaustion that late nights and early mornings can induce. Next week is all about the 10.30pm bedtime, let's see how that feels.

    It has been an alright weekend I guess. A lil disappointing. Friday night me and my girl D went out to dinner at one of the jerk restaurants on Wardour Street to discuss life, love and the human condition (as you do). Firstly, the food was uniformly dry, like surface of mars dry - there may have once been moisture, but it was long gone. I didn't even know it was possible to dry out mac and cheese like that and I had been looking forward to it all day! Boooo! Secondly the service was crap, but, well, you know the stereotype so whatever - no tip for you.

    Anywho, I digress. After our conversation covered life and work it turned to men. Now D is confused as hell because she has a friend who is sending her mixed up and confused signals. D's friend, who she likes, recently has started to kiss her. Unfortunately this friend is so laid back that he is near comatose and so she has no idea what else to expect. Add to this, that he not a big talker and "I don't know" is a standard answer to most things. Irritating, no? Originally when I first heard about this guy I was backing team J hard! Now he just sounds lazy. Booo to laziness, D deserves better.

    D's story was just another addition to the foolishness that I have been suffering from all week! I call it Y chromosome foolishness because yes, it has been gender specific.

    Two examples after the jump:

    Saturday, 12 September 2009

    Test blog

    The letter writer is taking me to the jazz cafe tonight. We're going to see Laura Izibor (who is his alleged future wife). I've never heard her sing before but I'm avoiding a youtube search. Sometimes it's nice to be surprised.



    So far the letter writer is ticking many boxes, too many in fact, he's freaking me out a little. I'm also not used to his free and easy and frequent and honest expression of emotions. We don't do expression in my family, we're pretty controlled for the most part. And getting emotions out of most of the guys I've dated in the past is like wringing the proverbial blood out of the proverbial stone! I call it emotional retardedness (politically incorrect I know) and I also possess it in spades.



    Incidently I'm typing this and hopefully posting it from my new crackberry which is already exerting it's addictive influence over me. So please excuse typos and a lack of pics, it is a work in progress

    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

    Sunday, 6 September 2009

    FLIPin heck


    not the greatest pic, but jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, too fly!!!!

    What a fab night!

    To be honest, after making me sit through the drivel that was Final Destination yesterday, Nadz really did owe me something good.

    She delivered Motown, in a park, for free. All things I love.

    I am pretty sure I have seen the show twice before, but it's motown, so repetition isn't a problem. Shimiing and shaking under the stars at the front of the crowd would have been good enough, but we were blessed by the inclusion of Flip in the cast of the show.

    Lord have mercy

    Flip was fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

    Flip made us both stand up and take notice. Flip salsaed through 'Fiesta', and back flipped across the stage. Flip made my heart beat a little faster every time he sang. He was cute, a lil skinny, but had the kind of voice and smile that makes a girl's mind wander. I might have even drooled slightly. Weirdly, he also reminded me (and nadz) of my ex, and really made me want to drunk dial (minus the alcohol) but since he is now seeing someone (grrr) I exercised the remanants of my self control and put down the phone.

    Well done me!

    Jeez it's been a while since I felt some pure, unadulterated lust.

    Good stuff!

    Thursday, 3 September 2009

    french women are fabulous

    Really? Are they?

    I've been to Paris a few times - and yes the women had a certain je ne sais quoi. But on my drive through France recently and spending time in the country, french women seemed to be the same as all others. Maybe it would help if I understood the language...

    Anyway read this, it's interesting

    How you can be a femme fatale

    Wednesday, 2 September 2009

    Eight legged freaks

    Yesterday there was a spider in my bed.

    It was large, and black, with more legs than anybody really needs. It scuttled up my sheet in that disconcerting way that spiders have when they move quickly.

    I employed my usual spider response

    Namely the 'scream and run'

    It's very effective when the spider is somewhere that you don't mind not being. But this one was in my bed. By the pillow. Under the duvet. Where I wanted to be.

    Yesterday I employed a new technique.

    The 'little brother rescue'

    He's amazing, he's taller than me and an absolute skinny beanpole. But he handles spiders with skill.

    So today I dedicate my night of uninterupted sleep to my brother. THANK YOU!

    ***there was supposed to be a picture - but it scared me so just use your imagination***

    there ain't no party like a HOUSE PARTY!



    I am aware that I am a lil late to the party.

    Actually if I'm honest I am the houseguest that turned up at 6am after the police raided and just in time to help the clean up crew.

    I'm late.

    This weekend I watched the classic 1990's film House Party...

    ...FOR THE FIRST TIME

    Like I said - late.

    My only excuse is that I was only 5 when it came out and I have parents that severely restricted my viewing habits up to the age of 15, by which time I was pretty book smart, but I missed all the classics of my generation.

    I have been asked by the friend that introduced me to House Party to make a list of all the classics that I have yet to see. This could be embarrassing since right now I class my self as a (lapsed) cinephile.
    (Lapsed because I now work on Orange Wednesdays - freaking sacriledge!)

    The List (black films for now)

    • Boomerang (and most of Eddie's films)
    • Jungle Fever
    • Poetic Justice
    • House Party 2 (and 3 and 4)
    • New Jack City
    • Malcolm X (which is sitting under my bed as we speak -my cheeks are shame coloured)

    Have I missed anything?

    Please let me know - the plan is to have a movie weekender and catch up.

    I also missed a LOT of sci-fi and horror classics. I'm sure they'll get their own list soon.

    For the record, I loved Kid, he was such a clueless cutie (Play not so much). And this may be one of the few films I like Martin Lawrence in - he cracked me up. I still don't like him in Bad Boys - sue me. Darryl Mitchell, who I recognised from Channel 4 day-time tv show Ed, was in there as Chill. I couldn't place the face initially so I googled him (as I do) and found that in 2001 he was paralysed from the waist down (paraplegic) hence him being in a wheelchair on Ed is not acting. Tragic.

    Tisha (from My Wife and Kids?) also starred. And hot DAMN, her body was freaking inspirational!! Her lil round face belied the wash board abs and toned legs and reminded me that it is time to start the winter gym attempts in the hope that next summer I can look bikini ready (this summer I most definitely was NOT).

    Thursday, 20 August 2009

    it has been a while

    Yeah I kind of fell off this posting thing in August.

    I get the month of August as my summer holiday and I have been working harder during the last few weeks than I do when I'm at uni!

    So posts have been slow.

    Might pick up soon, check in occasionally...

    Sunday, 2 August 2009

    letters




    I met a man, who leaves long handwritten rambling letters hidden in the library for me to find.

    It's the stuff literary love affairs are made of.

    I'm not sure I know what to do with him - I'm not used to romance.

    Tuesday, 28 July 2009

    jamaica jamaica



    If you know me, you may be aware that my family is Jamaican. I'm 2nd gen British born, but the connection with JA is still there. My grandparents and a lot of other older members of my family who came to the UK to make some cash are now back home, enjoying life in the sun. I haven't been back for a while. 8 years it must be now, that's ages! I didn't think it was so long.

    I am most definitely aware that Jamaica has some issues (putting it mildly), but until recently all I'd experienced was the natural beauty of the island and the warmth of the people.

    Then my uncle got shot

    http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/letters/html/20090726T230000-0500_156193_OBS_NO_DESIRE_TO_VISIT.asp

    Click the link to read how my uncle was shot execution style in the temple (or neck, depending on reports). No money was taken (he had $60,000 JAM on him, which is approximately £410 - damn that exchange rate!) but his phone was stolen. Allegedly he had received a phone call asking him to come to the bar and the theory is that the phone was taken to stop the police tracking the murderer.

    Now I'm not really looking for sympathy. My uncle lived in New York, I'd only met him about 3 times in my life, but this situation is fucked up! Every family member is repeating that he was such a calm, quiet person. Never in trouble with anyone. The W_____'s are in shock!

    So now I'm hearing that the plot is getting thicker - but since it is bad to pass on gossip I will hold my tongue for now.

    RIP Uncle Michael

    Jamaican authorities need to catch the animal who killed you. An island whose main income is tourism CANNOT have this level of lawlessness continue unchecked.

    Wednesday, 22 July 2009

    blockage!



    I used the "block person" option on facebook for the first time today. The same person was also msn messenger blocked + deleted (a feature which is used with increasing regularity) and would also have been deleted from my phone except I would like to know when they are calling so I can ignore it - no surprises.

    Can you block phone numbers? How?

    It was cathartic. And it was long over due.

    I can't control the negative energy of others, but actually inviting it into my life repeatedly? That's stupid.

    And today I'm feeling smart.

    Sunday, 19 July 2009

    the orishas


    While travelling in Cuba years ago I was introduced to Santeria. Santeria is to Cuba what Voudoun (Voodoo) is to Haiti, and Candomble is to Brazil.

    West africans forcibly transported across the Atlantic brought their beliefs, languages, traditions and Gods with them to the new world.

    But the beliefs were beaten from them. Languages were lost as families and clans were seperated, and severe penalties inflicted on those not speaking the language of their oppressors. Traditions became hidden rituals or ignored.

    Through it all the gods remain.

    Kind of

    Santeria was hidden during slavery by combining the gods (orishas) with Catholic saints. According to wikipedia this is called "syncretism"

    "the attempt to reconcile disparate or contrary beliefs, often while melding practices of various schools of thought"

    Each orisha was melded with a corresponding catholic saint, often with equivalent characteristics

    For example
    Oshun "goddess of love, feminine beauty and art" became Our Lady of Charity
    Elegua "the trickster god of crossroads and opportunity" became St Anthony (patron saint of roads and gates)
    Ogun "god of war and iron" became St Peter (patron of war)
    Shango "also a warrior god strongly associated with thunder, lightning and male sexuality" became St Barbara (patron of thunder, lightning and fire)

    Last night I dreamed of Eleggua. There was a song I heard people singing along the Malecon in Havana which repeated his name and last night that song was the soundtrack to my dream. I have no idea who sings it and I haven't thought about it in years.

    The dream was simple. I walked along the Malecon at night, past Friday night revellers drinking rum from the bottle and dancing under the stars, the ocean crashing on the rocks below them. The details of the landscape were sharp, but my companion's face is hazy. He was young, shorter than me and ran in circles around me, distracting me and tripping me. There is no doubt in my mind who this was, in that specific certainty that is only found in dreams.

    It's odd that he should come to mind now, especially when in the past few days many little things have been going wrong. Maybe these events triggered my memory subconsciously, or maybe the dream served to show that Eleggua the trickster is causing trouble in my life. Eleggua isn't evil, this isn't the same as dreaming that I walked with "the devil" (in whose existence I still doubt). Eleggua transcends good and evil. In my mind he resembles the duality of human nature, however I would prefer if, in my dream, he was more playful, less vindictive.

    I need to learn more...

    Friday, 10 July 2009

    a message to the leering and lascivious...

    ...you make me hate summer.

    I found myself this morning dressing as if donning armour for battle.

    Why?

    Because in sultry south London, a woman's body becomes community property in summer. The level of community ownership is directly proportional to the physical assets that said woman possesses and I possess said assets.

    So my message to all of you optical sex-pests that want to mentally undress me when I leave the house:

    Stop the ogling!

    A quick appreciative glance is flattering.

    A 5 minute stare is not only not flattering, it's borderline harassment.

    I actually can't take it. It makes me ridiculously self conscious, hence my need to dress like a centurion on occasion.

    *rant over*

    Thursday, 9 July 2009

    beyonce - sweet dreams

    Is Bey becoming a parody of herself?

    This what happens when an artist has no legitimate competition in their field. They start repeating the same old tired-ass moves.

    So far I've noticed

    The Lace-front Flick

    The Shimmy

    The Snake Walk

    and the ever popular Booty-pop

    Watch Bey's new video and see how many you can spot!

    the bucket list - part 1

    I've been thinking about my Bucket List. The list of things that I want to do before I die. Some of the list is noble, some academic, some sexual, some down right ridiculous.

    This is one of the ridiculous ones

    I'm going to be nude in public.

    I don't know when, and today I feel that I should probably do a little more exercise before I execute this particular list item but it will happen, in my lifetime.

    Just to clarify, I don't intend to wear a mac and surprise people in the park - because that is illegal (and just plain wrong), I also don't plan on running across a sporting field of any discipline, since the only place I want this to be remembered is my head, I don't need any photographic evidence.

    But I feel that this is important. For a girl who has been at odds with her body since the onset of puberty, this could be the ultimate show of acceptance of her physique.

    I read a book last night called "Naturally Slim, without dieting". It's pretty old and has been on a shelf downstairs for longer than I can remember. I assume that my mum bought it back in the day, because my dad is one of those irritating people who can (and does) eat a mountain of food without gaining an ounce of weight. This book, which looks at slimming from a psychological perspective predictably has a chapter on loving and appreciating your body whatever weight, size, cellulite level that you may be at. A generic but positive message to be sure. What did interest me was a quote from a group therapy participant that the author had hosted.

    "I know that these legs look like they could kick-start a Boeing, but they are my legs, and they are fine. They walk when I want them to walk, they sit when I need them to sit. They are my legs, so they are fine"
    This quote headed a chapter called Thunder Thighs and Fattism: Accepting yourself

    Isn't it a breath of fresh air among all the literature targeted at my age group and gender?

    Be slim

    10 ways to drop 10 pounds

    Magic anti-cellulite cure

    Anti-aging

    Anti-weight

    Anti-fat

    Anti-life!

    Just be happy with the body that you have - it works, it is functional, stop abusing it by starving it, over (or under) working it and not taking care of it.

    Acceptance of the body you have doesn't negate the quest for "the body beautiful". For everyone there is room for improvement and loving the body you have now doesn't stop you from being aware of its faults. It just means that you'll be able to deal with them in a manner that doesn't leave you hating yourself. Check out these internal responses to being out of breath when running for a train:

    Person 1: OMG I can't breathe! I'm dying!

    *train leaves platform*

    Person1 : you fat bitch, if you hurried up and lost all that disgusting fat you might have caught your train and not been late for work again.


    and next....

    Person 2: OMG I can't breathe! I'm dying!

    *train leaves platform*

    Person 2: ah crap I'm going to be late, I should do some exercise so that the next time this happens I'll be prepared


    Guess which one hates what they see in the mirror every morning?

    OK that was obvious - but I hope you see where I'm coming from.

    So back to the point of this post. Once I am able to love my body, flaws and all, I will be naked in public. Probably on a beach somewhere, where everyone else is naked too. This isn't a sexual thrill seeking mission. I'm not an exhibitionist. But the naked form, especially the female form has become sexualised to the point where being naked must mean you're about to have sex and I think that is such a shame. Maybe part of this is a one woman mission to take back my body from the leering and lascivious public and enjoy it in an asexual environment.

    Whatever the reasoning - Nude in Public - It's on the Bucket List!

    Tuesday, 7 July 2009

    the michael jackson memorial - a breakdown



    This is just a Breakdown of the events at Michael's memorial ceremony. Along with additional commentary from Badmind Eva, over whom I have no control.

    Mariah was on stage earlier. I love you girl and your tribute was heartfelt.

    Badmind Eva says: Mariah's ill, choked up with grief, or losing her voice. I hope its one of the first two

    19:15: Stevie Wonder just finished singing to Michael Jackson's coffin. Best performance of the night so far. The pain in his voice was palpable

    Badmind Eva says: When men with long hair have foreheads that start mid-scalp, they really should consider relieving the rest of the follicles of their duties

    19:17: Some basketball players are discussing there experiences with MJ. I think it's Magic Johnson and someone else. Sweet memories. Who knew Michael ate KFC? But he is right, as sad as this moment is, this is his life that we are celebrating.

    ****update: LA Lakers players, apparently***

    19:21: Jennifer Hudson is on stage. She owns that mic! Singing Will You Be There? One of my favourite songs by Michael, but I'm not feeling this performance. I guess when the original is so ingrained in your consciousness, it's hard to appreciate alternatives.

    They have Michael's vocals for the spoken verse - beautiful

    19:25: Al Sharpton speaks, the voice of a true preacher. He looks like he presses his hair?

    "There's nothing that can't be done if we raise our voice as one" - shown on the screen behind the tributes

    So far I think this is the perfect antidote to BET's memorial fiasco

    19:33: John Mayer on guitar - Human Nature - so subtle and understated. He's making those strings sing.

    "why, why? Tell them that it's Human Nature"

    The backing singers joining in on the chorus, still subtle, still poised

    That really was amazing.

    19:37: Brooke Shields is expected

    Oh I didn't realise all the brothers are wearing a glove. What a nice touch?

    19:38: Brooke Shields is absolutely stunning, she is only just holding back the tears. Her tribute is making me cry, the sincerity is absolute. This is hands down the best tribute so far. These memories are so personal, so warm, so moving.

    19:47: Jermaine is on stage singing "Smile". I have no idea how he is managing to sing. At my grandmother's funeral I could barely breathe for crying, let alone sing. His voice is barely breaking. How is he holding it together? How? My heart is breaking for him. His vocal similarity to Michael is breathtaking. So very brave of him.

    19:51: Now the children of Martin Luther King are speaking. The son, emulates his father's style exactly. Both are obviously great orators.

    They say the sky is the limit, and to me that is really true - background screen

    apparently usher is on soon.

    19:59: Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee - also a strong speaker discussing all the humanitarian work that Michael did, some that we may not have even heard of. Michael's life contains so many aspects that should be emulated, to "make the world a better place"

    "Michael fought the good fight"

    Resolution 600 - a Congressional resolution honouring Michael Jackson's humanitarian legacy - what a tribute!

    Badmind Eva: This woman can chat na man?? Hurry up! Politicians *shakes head*

    20:07: USHER! singing gone too soon. I forgot usher was actually vocally talented. His recent music hasn't showcased this at all. Usher is the 2nd celeb to breakdown and cry on stage (after Brooke Shields). He owes a lot to Michael, his style especially is a tribute in itself.

    20:12: Video of "Who's loving you" Jackson 5 - I love that purple hat

    20:13: Smokey Robinson (who wrote the previous song).

    Badmind Eva says: how is it that Smokey looks younger now, than he did when he was young? I know black doesn't crack, but seriously Smokey - I KNOW you had help!

    Smokey is discussing the soul, the passion and the blues in Michael's voice as a child that belied his years.

    20:19: NO WAY! Shaheen from Britain's Got Talent is on here! Singing his heart out. This must be absolutely mindblowing for him! BUT it is glaringly obvious that even his talented self is a little out of his depth. He didn't compare to Michael Jackson as a child. Simon Cowell's eyes are spitting dollar sounds right now. Michael watched Britain's Got Talent and admired Shaheen and asked him to perform with him in London. Mind blowing. He's only 12!

    20:23: Kenny Ortega? Not sure who he is

    Presenting a performance from the THIS IS IT tour rehearsals!

    *exciting*

    Oh its a live performance. I though it was video footage. Singing we are the world, I think this is the finale. All famous attendees are on stage. Harmonising.

    The introduction to Heal the world, the child's voice was a perfect ending. Heal the world

    Fin

    20:34: I'm obviously too damn fast for my own good - Jermaine offers his thanks on behalf of his family. All are on stage.

    Janet looks fabulous

    Badmind Eva says: what in the name of all that is holy is on LaToya's head?


    The kids, Prince, Paris and Blanket look so comforted by the Jackson family. Jermaine couldn't finish speaking, Marlon took over, but broke down towards the end, when he mentioned his twin brother Brandon, already passed, and is in heaven with Michael now.

    Janet is next. No Paris is speaking. So heartfelt. She loves her Daddy.

    20:42: The casket is leaving the stage, carried by the Jackson brothers.

    Fin (for real this time)

    in memoriam - michael jackson

    Today seems shrouded in an air of melancholy.

    The clouds hold an ominous threat. Thunder rolls between lightning flashes and rain and hail are pouring from the sky.

    If I was a fan of cliche I would say that even the elements are in mourning today, as they, along with the rest of the world watch Michael Jackson being laid to rest. It would be apt I think, a fitting tribute to the King of Pop.

    I feel, along with most 80s babies, that a piece of my childhood is dead. My tears are for a global icon of childhood, and for the world's great loss.

    Mucisian, Dancer, Humanitarian, The greatest entertainer that has ever, is currently, or will ever live.

    Sunday, 5 July 2009

    locs day 1

    The locs journey has begun, the twists look hot and they are not scalpy which I was worried about. I probably won't go back to MR in Tooting though. Not because they did anything wrong (except overusing the locking butter to the extent that I felt my Soul Glo!), but because it reminded me of everything I hate about the black salon experience. Now I remember why I prefer paying the lil extra and having the salon come to me. So I'm looking for a loctician, who doesn't use beeswax, or petrolatum based products and can come to my part of London.

    Thursday, 2 July 2009

    the decision has been made

    I like talking to randoms on public transport. Along with reading, it is one of the only things I enjoy about public transport.

    So today I talked to a random on the DLR.

    A gorgeous black woman with a possibly american/ canadian accent (I can't tell the difference) and her even more gorgeous daughter. We'll call her Dreadz.

    Talking to people on public transport is easy. All you need is a smile and an opening hook. So smile at the ready, I leaned over and said:

    "Can I ask you a question? How long have you had your locs, they're beautiful"

    And now I'm just realising how much like a chat-up line that sounded. Fortunately, Dreadz didn't run from my blatant (but unintentional) flirtation, and we proceeded to have a really good chat about the process of starting and maintaining locs.

    Dreadz has had her locs for over 2 years now, and they look fabulous, no lie. Slightly longer than chin length, very black (not my off black/ brown dodgy hair colour).

    And so today I decided that I want them!

    Locs have been at the back of my mind for a few years. The last few years I have been enjoying the 'fro, and finally learning how to look after my hair and what works for me. But now I'm bored, ready for the next challenge, and maybe that is locs. If it isn't then they're reversible for the 1st 6months so no probs.

    I'm aware that for the first 3-6 months my head is going to look RUFF! The until locs settle in they are temperamental, irritating, fluffy, frizzy, etc etc. but after that I'm hoping for something that looks a little like this...




    or this....



    (how beautiful are they? I mean it's not because of the locs, but still....)


    So the twisting appointment is booked for Sunday 10.30. I'm being completely lazy because I could have done it myself but I'll part with £50 to get the partings at the back of my head straight. I feel like I'm starting a journey and I'm excited!

    So much for my "its just hair" philosophy - lol

    Tuesday, 30 June 2009

    uninspired, unmotivated, unimpressed

    I hassled two bloggers today about their lack of new material. JohnBoy was kind enough to oblige quickly with a new post, Rio Tetsuo may need a little more of a push, but I'm sure he'll come around eventually. It's probably best if I update too so I can't be accused of hypocrisy.

    The fact is, I prefer reading blogs to writing them. I prefer a little escapism into somebody else's life for a hot minute rather than re-immersing myself in the mundanities of my own. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite fond of my life, but I'm already living it. Writing about it is a form of therapy when it's in a padlocked journal that no one can read, but blogging is exposed. No matter how anonymous you may try to be, the internet is a public forum. And so my posting is restricted. Since I know people that I know may or may not be reading, what I write is restricted to what I want them to know, or what they already know. Maybe I shouldn't have been so free and easy with the web address in the early days.

    On a sad note

    Michael J is still dead.

    boo

    And now the rumour mill has begun grinding. (That is what mills do right? Grind? Corn, i think)

    Yesterday I heard that Jordie Chandler had been so moved by the death of Michael that he had to come clean about the blatant fabrication that was his molestation charge. I wanted to believe it, but it came accompanied by a waft of bulls*** that was hard to ignore.

    MaryMary are also proclaiming (falsely) that Michael was baptised 3 weeks before he died. While this seemed to be a source a great comfort and relief to the 1,080 commenters on their status, it is a LIE!

    Leave Michael alone!!

    In further life updates:

    I'm tired and unmotivated (there's a surprise!)

    and my MOT is due in 11 days - I should probably look into that.

    Grrr

    SherryBaby* ain't nuthin but a money-grabbing....


    *SherryBaby is my car, if you didn't get that reference

    Friday, 26 June 2009

    michael jackson died




    I wanted to call this "End of an Era", or "Death of a Legend" or something equally dramatic as is befitting the death of Michael Jackson.

    Dad came in and told me an hour ago that MJ was dead. I didn't believe it and on some level I still don't. Apparently his Peter Pan complex had me and the rest of the world believing that he would always exist. News currently reports that he died from a cardiac arrest; he was in a coma on arrival to the hospital and died soon afterwards.

    TMZ had the story hours before other more reputable news outlets. A source I would usually dismiss. The internet is fabulous though, within minutes my facebook wall was full of shocked, disbelieving messages. Even my own messages follow a pattern of shock "is it true? MJ?", disbelief "someone needs to show me some proof", and finally acceptance "RIP MJ,".

    The world has lost a great artist tonight. Unfortunately he was unable to stay relevent and change as the world around him changed, but it is a testiment to the quality of his early music that we are still fans.

    I guess his legal troubles should be mentioned. A grown man sharing a bed (and whatever else occured) with young boys is wrong. And with all the people surrounding MJ, and the awareness of his slightly "off the wall" mental state, this should not have been allowed to happen TWICE. But I also believe that if I was a parent and Michael had alledgedly fiddled with my kids, no amount of money would shut me up - I would want him to be tried, jailed and then repeatedly troubled by a tattoed guy named Butch. I also wouldn't send my child to "sleepovers" at a grown man's house who has no kids! Someone's story didn't add up. I guess we'll never know whose. But as I sit here listening to Billie Jean I'm reminiscing through the rose tinted specs of hindsight that obliterate the negativity.

    I just bought a couple things from Amazon, the Moonwalker DVD which I've been looking for for ages, and a Motown MJ 3 disc album. I want them before the mad memoribilia rush begins.

    Also I'm feeling a little guilty. Because my second thought (after ...tragic death of a legend...) was, are my concert tickets going to be refunded? Cold? Possibly. But I especially feel for all the people who bough concert tickets at wildly elevated prices. I wonder if there is a refund procedure for that? Also feeling guilty for the fleeting thoughts wondering if this was a life insurance scam - news of his brokeness is commonplace. But I hope I'm not that cynical.

    Watching the news now I'm seeing people crying and fainting on footage of past Michael Jackson concerts. I remember those days! When seeing Michael was an EVENT on a grand scale. I saw his Dangerous tour in the UK. I was blessed, lucky enough to see his talent live and unadulterated. I remember going into school the next day head held high; I'd seen Michael Jackson! For a couple days (which included a show and tell) my news was the hottest thing!

    This self taught (people forget he was SELF TAUGHT) man, BLACK MAN (yeah we claim him in death) will never be bested. No one currently even comes close. All those pretenders to the throne, the omarian's, chris browns, neyos and ushers need to show respect to the origin of all of their styles.

    RIP Michael, I hope you find the peace in death that you so desperately craved in life.


    michael in all his crotch grabbing, moonwalking, crowd pleasing glory



    **************edit: Is this one of those deaths for which we are all slightly to blame? Our obsession with celebrity has reached fever pitch.

    What causes a physically active, non-smoking man suddenly present to hospital in full cardiac arrest? There are many theories, but I'm postulating stress.

    50 show dates, that apparently he didn't agree to, he only knew about 10, a legal fight on his hands (again!), brokeness, and constant media intrusion into his life from the age of 5, just typing it sounds stressful. Still a lil shell shocked - there may be more updates forthcoming...******************

    Monday, 22 June 2009

    today i...

    ...extracted 2 wisdom teeth from 2 different patients in 2 hours - funking fabulous!



    ...spoke to my northern friend, who forgets me on occasion but is loved nonetheless



    ...finished off the vegan blackforest gateau i made for Father's day
    (vegan does NOT mean tasteless - it was full of chocolately/ cherry goodness)



    ....screened my calls - I'm refusing to let that nokia rule my life. Leave a message, I'll get back to you, maybe



    ...made plans to see terminator 4 (finally), last big blockbuster of the summer (i think), will it enter my top 3 of 2009?

    Sunday, 21 June 2009

    robots in disguise!




    Saw Transformers II last night - screen 11 at the o2 (naturally).

    And it was....

    ....alright.



    HERE BE minor SPOILERS....continue at your peril....





    The jokes were predictable, the human side of the story line was predictable. The Twinz irritated me - and the next person who calls them the "black ones" will get decked because last time I checked robots are melanin deficient and do not originate from Africa. Robots chatting like bloody Tim Westwood. It's Jar Jar Binks all over again!

    The screen was beautiful though - I think the term Visual Candy is totally appropriate here, everything just looked goooooooooooooooood! The sexy camaro that is Bumblebee would still have looked better with me in it (i wish). Guys have Megan Fox for their eye candy. She looks more sexy than filthy in this film which is great, because recently shes been looking a bit Try-sexual. Shia LeBoeuf, great name and cute, but the ladies also have Tyrese (a black guy who's every line contains "ass" or "shit" - how original) and Captain Lennox *drool*.

    Some free newspaper reviewers were complaining that they were unable to tell the Autobots and Decepticons apart during the fight scenes. To them I say "should've gone to Specsavers". It's really not difficult,

    bright coloured = good

    gun metal grey = bad

    I guess the problem was that I was bored. I didn't care about the Fallen. Megatron seemed like a bit of a chump compared to the Fallen. The robots just seemed like they'd been tacked onto a storyline about a guy going off to college and trying to avoid saying the L word before his girlfriend does.

    And I didn't care!!

    Last night the o2 also dropped a little in my estimation, as did my company. Renovations to Car Park 4 and 3 events occurring at once meant the car parking nearby was full and I had to park some ridiculous distance away.

    *unimpressed*

    Film finished after 11.30 (it was 2.5 hours long!!), it was dark, it was a lil chilly, roads were empty. Am I wrong to expect to be walked to my car? Maybe I've been spoilt in the past but I expect friends,by virtue 2 being safer than 1, to show at least a passing concern for my safety after I've been out with them. Ah well I'm still in one piece and none the worse for wear - no harm, no foul I guess. I'm pretty sure that it won't happen again though.

    what loves company?



    Never really been much for the negative emotions - best ignored and avoided.

    But tonight, I felt what I have lost, intensely.

    Just dull pressure in my chest and an ache in my throat

    Who knew that the car would be the best place for contemplation (in lieu of a vast expanse of nature).

    Wednesday, 17 June 2009

    the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the...




    After work today I drove down to Mitcham. My brakes were giving me trouble all the way to Coventry and back and apparently breakdown cover does not cover faulty brakes. If I had died on the side of the M1 my family would have been due a hefty pay out from that gem-like female only car insurer.

    ANYWAY

    So the plan was to go to my Uncle's house, follow him to the mechanics and then for him to drive me home (the luxury of family). The plan succeeded. The car is now waiting outside the mechanics waiting for D to work his magic.

    Luckily for you this isn't the interesting part of the story.

    During the drive home me and my uncle got into a debate about the nature of truth.

    Is truth absolute or conditional?

    Isn't it weird that the questions that have been debated for many hundreds of years always seem to have obvious answers, until you debate them with someone with an opposing point of view?

    I think truth is conditional. I think that what is true for one, will not necessarily be true for all. I think that what is true in one place or time, may not be true for another. I can't think of something that is absolutely true for all things/ people/ time etc

    But I actually want to think this out and do it justice - so I'll be back after some good book based research (or google)

    Tuesday, 16 June 2009

    current thoughts

    • Arnie's bum in terminator 1 is a thing of beauty. Sculpted and firm. Yum!
    • My new sexy flatscreen is deceptive - it makes films look better than they are.
    • I have a list of uni stuff to do and no time to do it in.
    Welcome to a lil slice of my world....


    Monday, 15 June 2009

    twenty-four years and 3 days


    This print is called "Celebration" by Keith Mallett and can be purchased here

    I had such a lovely birthday weekend.

    Friday...

    Started off at friday lunch when I was greeted at uni by my lab partner holding my card in one hand and a handmade banana cake in the other - she knows that good cake is my red kryptonite. She apologised that it wasn't a giant lemon slice - but apparently that's in production for next year.

    *excitement*


    We'd come in early for our afternoon session and sat in the student union celebrating my birth. Eventually we went to the afternoon sesh which was Oral Surgery with my nemesis/ tutor. He looks like Hey Arnold's Indian twin brother, and has an infuriatingly passive smile and a voice which makes me want to garrote him. Luckily for me, I got to avoid him all session while treating a patient with trismus and lingual nerve parasthesia after wisdom tooth removal - basically her tongue was numb and she could hardly open her mouth without pain. (And by treating, I mean reassuring her that it will go away in a few weeks because there is absolutely f*** all we could do for her).

    After uni was a mad dash home to eat, wash and prettify myself before being chauffeured to the o2 (mum was feeling generous) to meet the girls. The indigO2 was hosting boyzIImen that night and my darling friend had bought me tickets as a present. The tickets said BoyzIImen plus special guests and we had spent weeks trying to work out who was in town and who would perform well with the boyz. Our guesses ranged from Beyonce (unlikely in hindsight) to Britney (lol - can you imagine?). The reality was an opening act who looked like Dave Chappelle and sang like a cruise line entertainer.

    *epic fail*

    Maybe he was just there to make the Boyz look better - but he was absolutely unnecessary! We were late so we missed most of his set, and settled in to watch the Boyz with a malibu and cranberry in my hand and flanked by the girls on either side.

    The boyz still have it!




    Can you imagine? After almost 20 years they still have it. The lights glistened off the Dax in their texturised hair. The 3 piece suits were SHARP! The dance moves perfectly evoked the feel of the groups of the 90's. In the background they played their music videos showing more 90's dance moves, and women wearing clothes *woah* and when they were in swimwear there wasn't a bootyshaking, ass clapping, p**** popping one among them. But I digress...

    The harmonies were TIGHT! But that was to be expected. Unfortunately the 4th member of the group left. He was the one with the BASS in his voice (I know you know who I mean) and his voice was definitely missed, especially in A Song for Mama and End of the Road. Hopefully he'll be back, rumor has it that he's suffering from a debilitating illness, so prayers for effective management and a speedy recovery.

    The Boyz should have spent more time on stage - their back catalogue is huge and so many songs were missed out but it looked they ran over their time since after the encore the backstage staff plucked the mics from their hands and raised the house lights. Boo to them.


    Saturday...
    • Woke up early to drive to the East Midlands....
    • Jacked up my car AGAIN!
    • Had a faboosh time
    details forthcoming...

    Thursday, 11 June 2009

    tomorrow is my birthday!!




    It really is a self-explanatory title.

    Tomorrow at 10:10am it will be 24 years exactly since the world was blessed with my presence!

    Lucky world

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY/ EARTHDAY/ BORNDAY TO MEEEEEE!!!!

    Now I know it's credit crunch and the big expensive presents will not be forthcoming. But even so my birthday gives me a little frission of excitement. I'll be up til 12 tonight to see it in. Tomorrow I have an oral surgery session in the afternoon and I'm hoping that my birthday present will be first pick of the patients! I'd love to pull a tooth or two on my birthday (I am the consumate dentist).

    However, aside from the BoyzIIMen concert which I'm attending with Nadia as a birthday present tomorrow night, I won't be holding any other celebrations. It's not really the time. Since Sabrina passed so tragically I can't really bring myself to celebrate like nothing happened. Maybe I'll postpone celebrations until I feel more in the mood. Sabrina's death is still a shock to me, I can't process it properly.

    Everytime I read or hear about the crash I just tear up. I sometimes get accused of being a lil stand-offish and cold, and I'd probably agree with all who think this, but my emotions run deep and I have a ridiculous amount of empathy, and I feel like sometimes I can feel the emotions of others more keenly than I can my own. So no, I have no idea how Sabrina felt as the plane went down, but that doesn't stop my mind recreating what I think it must have been like, along with the occasional tears. I've been more reticient than usual, less chatty, less involved. The fragile nature of life has been exposed but I have never felt more detached. Hopefully I'll be back in the game soon.

    Friday, 29 May 2009

    wednesday night

    best bitterwsweet goodbye kiss...


    ....ever


    although i would have prefered not to be saying goodbye - obviously.


    good kiss


    Sunday, 17 May 2009

    the princess and the frog



    this is the latest trailer for the new disney animation "the princess and the frog"!

    and it actually doesn't look tooooo bad...

    i have to admit i was skeptical. the first black disney princess, after 75years of princesses. something was going to go wrong, right? well for some audiences it already has.

    prince naveen

    an arabic name, with a latin american accent. i actually think he looks cute, and a little cheesy. but the problem that a lot of black commenters are having boils down to "why couldn't they give her a black prince to fall in love with?".

    people are up in arms about it - but i don't get the problem. the reason that disney didn't make the prince black is simple - they don't want this to be labelled as a BLACK film. although they are enjoying the free publicity in the black community as a result of their first black princess, they still want to make bucketloads of money and that means every race needs to feel included. this isn't an altruistic move on disney's part to show black women as princesses. no, they saw a gap in the market that everyone else was studiously ignoring, and decided to fill it.

    it's capitalism hard at work and if you expected anything else then you should zip up, your naivete is showing!

    how sad is it, that black people are looking to disney to provide positive images of black relationships? that's not disney's job. that's YOUR job as a parent, aunty, uncle, godparent, whatever, if that is something that you feel is important.

    i love seeing healthy black relationships because that is what i have been raised to see as my ideal (without any disney input, i might add - lol). but i also love seeing happy relationships FULL STOP. and if Princess Tiana and Naveen find love, more power to them! a lil more love in the world is never going to be a bad thing.

    i have also decided to forgo capital letters for a while, you may have noticed, no particular reason, just trying something new.