the bucket list - part 1

I've been thinking about my Bucket List. The list of things that I want to do before I die. Some of the list is noble, some academic, some sexual, some down right ridiculous.

This is one of the ridiculous ones

I'm going to be nude in public.

I don't know when, and today I feel that I should probably do a little more exercise before I execute this particular list item but it will happen, in my lifetime.

Just to clarify, I don't intend to wear a mac and surprise people in the park - because that is illegal (and just plain wrong), I also don't plan on running across a sporting field of any discipline, since the only place I want this to be remembered is my head, I don't need any photographic evidence.

But I feel that this is important. For a girl who has been at odds with her body since the onset of puberty, this could be the ultimate show of acceptance of her physique.

I read a book last night called "Naturally Slim, without dieting". It's pretty old and has been on a shelf downstairs for longer than I can remember. I assume that my mum bought it back in the day, because my dad is one of those irritating people who can (and does) eat a mountain of food without gaining an ounce of weight. This book, which looks at slimming from a psychological perspective predictably has a chapter on loving and appreciating your body whatever weight, size, cellulite level that you may be at. A generic but positive message to be sure. What did interest me was a quote from a group therapy participant that the author had hosted.

"I know that these legs look like they could kick-start a Boeing, but they are my legs, and they are fine. They walk when I want them to walk, they sit when I need them to sit. They are my legs, so they are fine"

This quote headed a chapter called Thunder Thighs and Fattism: Accepting yourself

Isn't it a breath of fresh air among all the literature targeted at my age group and gender?

Be slim

10 ways to drop 10 pounds

Magic anti-cellulite cure

Anti-aging

Anti-weight

Anti-fat

Anti-life!

Just be happy with the body that you have - it works, it is functional, stop abusing it by starving it, over (or under) working it and not taking care of it.

Acceptance of the body you have doesn't negate the quest for "the body beautiful". For everyone there is room for improvement and loving the body you have now doesn't stop you from being aware of its faults. It just means that you'll be able to deal with them in a manner that doesn't leave you hating yourself. Check out these internal responses to being out of breath when running for a train:

Person 1: OMG I can't breathe! I'm dying!

*train leaves platform*

Person1 : you fat bitch, if you hurried up and lost all that disgusting fat you might have caught your train and not been late for work again.

and next....

Person 2: OMG I can't breathe! I'm dying!

*train leaves platform*

Person 2: ah crap I'm going to be late, I should do some exercise so that the next time this happens I'll be prepared

Guess which one hates what they see in the mirror every morning?

OK that was obvious - but I hope you see where I'm coming from.

So back to the point of this post. Once I am able to love my body, flaws and all, I will be naked in public. Probably on a beach somewhere, where everyone else is naked too. This isn't a sexual thrill seeking mission. I'm not an exhibitionist. But the naked form, especially the female form has become sexualised to the point where being naked must mean you're about to have sex and I think that is such a shame. Maybe part of this is a one woman mission to take back my body from the leering and lascivious public and enjoy it in an asexual environment.

Whatever the reasoning - Nude in Public - It's on the Bucket List!